Monday, February 27, 2006

Closing time

Greetings to all..

As of late.. I have had no reason to continue this blog.

As of late.. I have grown boread with it.

Therefore, I shall be closing the blog (or at least stop posting on it)

Farewell

Sunday, January 01, 2006

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

Greetings to all.

I apologise for the long delay. During this period of time, I was busy shovelling ice off Santa's house. The pay is bad. But at least he's gave me an extra lump of coal in my Christmas sock.

I repaid the favour and sent it back to him on New Years day.

But not before consuming some of the coal. It worked wonders for my stomach. The elves tasted funny. (No, I just took nibbles off their arms.)


For this new Year and festive season....I present...

[Click here to collect your free jug of vodka]

After you click the link, go to a chemist store, buy pure alcohol, mix it with water, distill it, pour it away and let it fester for a few days. After which drink it, go to the hospital, pay for your bills, and show me the recepit. I'll give you a glass of vodka.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Please advertise properly.

Greetings,

I was just reading through my comments till I found this:

Hi goodisgrass, very unique blog you have! I was looking for candle wax related information and came across your site. Very good info, I'm definitely going to bookmark you! I have a candle wax site. You can find everything about candle supplies, gel candles, jar candles, and how to make your own candles. You'll find it very informative. Please visit it.

Yes, I am sure that my blog has given alot of information about candle wax. I am so suprised that you would appreciate the information. Now, please tell me where I can find this information on my blog, as I would also like to know how I managed to come up with information on candle wax.

todays food:

[Click here for your free waxed fruit.]

To collect, go to this persons website, and buy one.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

poTAEto poTAHto

How do you pronounce it?

In anycase, I had an interesting lunch. It was sorta like buffet style. BUT there were like a million types of potato salad!

Ok you caught me. Im exaggerating.

There were 10 million types of salad.

I stuffed myself so full of potato salad and I then I decided to go home and watch TV. Incidentally, our food for today will be potato.

[Click here now to receive your free potato salad]

To collect it, come to my place. Step on my stomach till I puke some out. Collect in a bowl. Add sauce of your choice for seasoning.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The problem

I dislike cold food. Unless its meant to be cold, like fruit, dessert, soggy vegetables/boiled vegetables. Yet recently I have been eating non stop meals of cold-food.

I need a solution. I need a food warmer. But one that can keep that 'fresh' taste on the food. Someone please invent it and send it to me so I can use it. Im too lazy to invent something like that. Plus the mental capacity required to do it would probably be too much for my brain to handle. If you could, try not to make it run on mains power or batteries... something else... like say... solar or wind power would be great.

As mentioned. I will not suffer alone.

[Collect your FREE plate of boiled cabbage.]

To collect it, send me any expensive wine or slabs of fresh kobe beef and I'll return an equivalent plate of boiled cabbage.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

sweet soup!

I was eating a soupish dessert recently.

It just so happened that as I put my spoon back into the murky yet delightfully sweet gravy, a large chunk of renegade gravy was launched into the air.

Now normally, my spectacles would have provided sufficient cover. Unfortunately, it just so happened that those droplets of gravy have excellent starboard navigators.

It just so happened that after that, one of the droplets managed to steer straight into my eye. I am currently sweeping ants away from my face as I type this. And the world looks just a tad more hazy.

As for today. The food shall be...

[Click here to collect your free bowl of (any soupy) dessert. Comes with self navigating droplets.]

To collect it, approach any sweet object, add water, then splash the sweet water on your face. With particular attention paid to eye washing.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Peanut Butter chocolate hmm...

Greetings to all

Today I bought a bar of peanut butter chocolate. I must add that the wrapper was hard to take out. Oily fingers tend to do that...I could have washed my hands after dinner but I was too desperate to sink my teeth into the chocolate. This resulted in me chewing the plastic wrapping. Sadly my teeth were not strong enough to cut through the wrapping. I ended up looking like a fool chewing on plastic wrappings.

The plastic did not taste like peanut butter or chocolate.

So right in front of me...I have this bar of smashed and crumpled plastic, with goop inside.

Interestingly enough that will be todays food...

[Click here for your FREE chocolate bar with invincible wrapping]

To collect it, go find a diamond cutting machine first. Then let me know.