The problem

I dislike cold food. Unless its meant to be cold, like fruit, dessert, soggy vegetables/boiled vegetables. Yet recently I have been eating non stop meals of cold-food.

I need a solution. I need a food warmer. But one that can keep that 'fresh' taste on the food. Someone please invent it and send it to me so I can use it. Im too lazy to invent something like that. Plus the mental capacity required to do it would probably be too much for my brain to handle. If you could, try not to make it run on mains power or batteries... something else... like say... solar or wind power would be great.

As mentioned. I will not suffer alone.

[Collect your FREE plate of boiled cabbage.]

To collect it, send me any expensive wine or slabs of fresh kobe beef and I'll return an equivalent plate of boiled cabbage.

sweet soup!

I was eating a soupish dessert recently.

It just so happened that as I put my spoon back into the murky yet delightfully sweet gravy, a large chunk of renegade gravy was launched into the air.

Now normally, my spectacles would have provided sufficient cover. Unfortunately, it just so happened that those droplets of gravy have excellent starboard navigators.

It just so happened that after that, one of the droplets managed to steer straight into my eye. I am currently sweeping ants away from my face as I type this. And the world looks just a tad more hazy.

As for today. The food shall be...

[Click here to collect your free bowl of (any soupy) dessert. Comes with self navigating droplets.]

To collect it, approach any sweet object, add water, then splash the sweet water on your face. With particular attention paid to eye washing.

Peanut Butter chocolate hmm...

Greetings to all

Today I bought a bar of peanut butter chocolate. I must add that the wrapper was hard to take out. Oily fingers tend to do that...I could have washed my hands after dinner but I was too desperate to sink my teeth into the chocolate. This resulted in me chewing the plastic wrapping. Sadly my teeth were not strong enough to cut through the wrapping. I ended up looking like a fool chewing on plastic wrappings.

The plastic did not taste like peanut butter or chocolate.

So right in front of me...I have this bar of smashed and crumpled plastic, with goop inside.

Interestingly enough that will be todays food...

[Click here for your FREE chocolate bar with invincible wrapping]

To collect it, go find a diamond cutting machine first. Then let me know.